My Guts...

Don't eat zoodles all the time. It's not good for your track. That's one of the things the past month has taught me.

"Eyes a muggin'/shoot the liquor to me John boy/Take a tip from me, she's sweeter, my Safronia B"

Start a fire, fall for something. Dry up the well.

You have to be loved.

"Pictures keep on falling from the walls/The ghosts are still careening through the halls/The drunken neighbour sings his favourite song/In the stardust of the night before the dawn"

Some, uh... Colin James For You....

Well, that was a long time. I've been busy, blah blah blah.... Complete lies.

Anyway.
You draw better when you're not drawing to measure up to someone's judgement. I cemented that for myself today. Maybe some day I'll cement for myself the fact that you're not supposed to give a shit about what people say when you do draw what you like. Hmm.

I think there was more to say, but it got lost a little.

"Can I reach it now/I'm not up here often/God only knows/And he ain't talkin'"

Attack At The HQ!

Sorry for the emo posts lately. Hmm. I'm at an odd spot in my life. It is akin to growing pains, like I mentioned previous, but a different connotation.

Good Lord, I have bad nerves.

...."I change my mind"? I write like I talk....

"I've gotta take a little time... A little time to think things over..."

"I'll Put A Rope Around The Handrails And..."

My boys. Save for the 2nd in the 2nd and 3rd rows... I drew them on the bus....

I planned my death again last night, after laughing so loud that I woke other tennants on more than one occasion. Growing pains I suppose. I wonder if anyone will forgive me.

I'm the dweeb in the house. I guess it's immaturity to be obsessed with what I like.

If you have your cake, you're to give it away.

".................."

Say You Will, Say You Won't....

Wooo, squoosh picture~~

Oh yeah, character based on Mel Gibson, implied crush on an older black man, which is completely one-sided, TAKE THAT TAKE IT GOOD RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!

Someday ima do some math and tell how many times a month I draw Jonasan. Oh shit, that'd be like... 35, at the very least. Yeah, that's nearly every day. Sometimes more than 4 times a day. There's something wrong with me.

...Sounds like I'm talking about masturbating, anyway, so yeah... Last day of work today... I hope it won't be like last time, where this raging drunk came in, yelling at the people looking at him. I was so afraid I shook violently, my legs turned to noodles, and I honestly thought I might die.

Fun night.

You're digging for gold, you're throwing away/A fortune in feelings, but someday you'll pay!

I Cheatded Again

I was rummaging through a box last night, trying to find an old comic, when I found this couple panels in a sketchbook. I would have to guess that it's from around april, some time early in the year when I was still a coffee DJ... Fangirling out, seeing what I wanted to do with Ed and Jonathan's first scene together.

I really liked throwing a turbulant lot of emotion into Jonasan, give him some anxiety disorders or something lol... In the second panel, I'm sure Ed was supposed to be there, looking unimpressed or something. And in the last couple, I think Jon was supposed to glomp him, crying into his chest. I've no memories of these old comics I never completed.... That was a rather sad discovery, looking them over in bed, pencil declining in readiness in my hand... Then that mood jumped on my back to finish it all up, and I decided that they were dead lol.

Where the fuck is my cat??

Let's get it crunk, we gonna' have fun/Up on in this dancery!!! Wordsmith!!!!

Brandy Alexander

There was an offer made to me for escape. "These things are gradual", I was told. I thought to myself then, this will be suffering. But I'd gotten quite used to chewing on that.

I'm not sure that Buddha had it right when he said that people should not want... Want tends to do good things to us. Of course, with everything else, it is one-thousand-edged...

I can't stand to look at abandoned asylums any more, even though my excitement for some certain oncoming works is growing inside of me. That reminds me of the dream I had last night. Women raped by posessive spirits, screaming in pain and fear. What discomfort my dreams bring me.

Thinking of things.

...I don't pretend to know.

On milky skin my tongue is sand until/The ever distant band begins to play

Stupid Hip Kids!

Would you cry if your wife died in your arms? Oh yeah, I think so lol.

You'd also lay around shrouded in a blanket... And eat nothing, and perhaps grow some PTSD...

I think I progressed a lot tonight. Fighting that intense hatred of every man alive, which is still (thankfully) totally unfounded according to my subconcious. w00tly.

Hey, it's going to be Christmas soon, you know what you can send me? Porn. You know who I like, just send it. SEND ALL YOU HAVE!!!

Ah, lolicon trouble shock. Hmm.

Crying is good. Oh, don't hold it back. It might even ensite some well-deserved pity, hahaha~.... Either that or everyone will a) think you're crazy, in which case you're fucked and nobody wants to work with you, or b) think you're faking for attention, in which case you're fucked and nobody wants to work with you.

En fin! Boobies!!

I was blessed because I was loved by youuuuuuuuuUUUUU!!!

X-Post That Shit

Is being a romantic, like, obsolete or something?

I feel like... it's been cut out because it's uneeded. Maybe I'm just being dramatic. I really have to write, get this out of my system... Unending hits of the 80's making me gooey and hypersensitive to any kind of contradiction brought by their morals lol.

Is this just me...?

Come ride with me to the distant shore/We won't hesitate/Break down the garden's gate/There's not much time left today

The Guy On The Right Has Dark Skin

Doo doo doo, not much to say. Really..... Just..... I don't want to work anymore...... Such a crappy job.... If the staff weren't so great, I'd've been gone long ago.... AAAAAghhhhhhh, what's hanging over my shoulderrrrrrr..........................

"That's why I don't have an ulcer, because I know when to say I don't give a fuck."

I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream

Dangerous times we live in friends. Dangerous, dangerous... So much hanging on threads.

I must say... Oprah bored the fuck out of me today, talking about bi-polar disorder, and interviewing people who could not gain any control of their anxiety disorders. Perhaps such things are environmental. There has to be more education publicly on something so common-place.

Don't have much to say. Recent days have been a flurry of confusion and angst lol. Here, some Lao Tzu.

Its upper part is not dazzling; Its lower part is not obscure. Dimly visible, it cannot be named And returns to that which is without substance. This is called the shape that has no shape, The image that is without substance. This is called indistinct and shadowy. Go up to it and you will not see its head; Follow behind it and you will not see its rear...

Humming

*Hangs self*

Riddled with nightmares it seems... Caring for a sick child while a convent of makeshift nurses are impaled with invisible blades-- sounds like a movie. What a gross psychic sludge left in the morning.

Hey, you. Yeah, I mean You. You're not who you think you are. Think back to what you said earlier. Realized that you almost had it, you almost had me. I trusted you. What you said... I didn't remember you disagreeing with me.

I don't remember much, do I.

I'm not willing to talk to you yet. I don't have the heart on me to fight. I'm much too tired for that.

*dusts self*

Ah, to shed this... More to cut off...

I was acting rather brash and inconsiderate today...

Western Eyes

Strange. I had a dream some nights ago about assaulting this mentally ill woman whom I percieved would have harmed me or someone I loved had I not done so. To know the meaning and context of the dream fills me with conflicting emotions. The assaulting of my own illnesses, only to in retrospect be in regret of an over-reaction. I don't think this is that simple.... I would smite that within me... But I do not understand it.

I feel something building up, like water welling at the walls of a dam. It's nervous, and my old bones know its scent of danger.... But I just stare at it... Probably in shock. Or something else. Maybe I'm just waiting for it to break.

"They have values of a certain taste/The innocent they can hardly wait/To crucify invalidating/Turning to dishonesty."

Edit: I forgot to mention the marker that that picture was drawn with. It was my main weapon of choice though high school, when I wrote my first comic. I don't write much any more, so drawing with it evoked some strange nostalgia lol.

A Drunk Cabbie Or A Sober Carnie?

I dedicate this crappy picture of L to you, Kuri-chan, for being so cool. Yeah... I mean you.

IMMACULATE, THAT'S that freaking word, immaculate floor, immaculate filafle, immaculate sense of RHYZM.

What's this? It's DAY 3 of the all weekend Without Mother At Home Marathon, right here in my head, and I'm actually feeling really ok. Stick that in your pitre dish and grow it.

What a bloody kick I get out of grown men molesting each other. Episode 1 of the 2nd City Hunter series is what I'm talking about. Sure, Ryo, it's a sure fire way to freak someone out, but there's only so many times you can jokingly make yourself out to be a flaming gay before someone gets Turned On.

Still hammering away at that separation anxiety.

"Jon's car is winnier than Rob's car."

Us Modern Commoners Don't Stand A Chance

Feeding my cat in Shenmue, I felt an intense craving for battered fish. And gayley, I feel like I should write poetry. Blame this all on thick ammounts of information barely extrapolated, then diced in sleep. I can't think straight, I haven't been able to in a long time. Liken it to a fog of the brain...

Things are looking down again. Gotta turn to what saved me then as well.

"And she went away from me, she moved through the fair

And fondly I watched her move here and move there

And then she went onward, just one star awake

Like the swan in the evening moves over the lake"

Dinos And Rhinos

I've finally poured 10 hours into Blue Stinger... I should do a celebratory pic or something. Along with all the other crap I'm supposed to be doing.

I've to go to the dentist tomorrow to get a metal filling... I hate needles. Sooooo much.... and to jam one in my gums for the first time in nearly 15 years is going to be damn fun.

I feel like I'm forgetting something... Yet the mind never forgets, does it...

"...from the wound a lovely flower grew.... from somewhere deep inside..."

CONTINUE?

DON'T fucking blame me!! It's the game over screen from one of the Ninja Gaidens, save for a different angle and costume! I swear, just... look it up or something. Gawd.

I've been feeling like I need to draw as of the past 30 or so minutes... I hope it lasts awhile. Like, forever or something.... I know what caused it, and logic sez it's all gonna crash down on my head like percarious pianos...

A friend got me thinking about shit, now I'm.... thinking lol. It's good, I suppose. I miss the kind of thinking I used to churn. Like cogs meshing and creaking, some giant machine giving way to motion...

"bye I'm dealin out hugs and kisses like its goin outta style,lol you gotta pay cash next time"

I Broke The Thingy On My Watch

So what now? I maaaay write. I'll pull some all nighters in order to think straight.... Do some turn-arounds, face pics... Throw them up here. I'm being currently harried, so I can't post properly. Harried Harried Harried. Worse than Space Harrier. I think I'm gonna go play Shenmue.

Drawing My Way Out Of A Paper Bag

I've been in one of these "I can't draw jack shit" swings for a long time now lol... It's getting old....... I just sit down and force myself to draw every day lol. Fucking painful and annoying.

I'm just... very very very pissed off lately. Things aren't working out. Starting to get that Fight Club thing where people only care about you if you're dying.

Naughty Naughty Naughty Bits

Gah, working is overrated.

Lack of eating and sleeping is taking a toll on me lately... I was actually shaking this morning, and needed multiple naps lol. Iron... Need meat.

And so, a socially inept guy asking a question.... I only write dodgey stuff nowadays lol....

*cry*

Guts/Schierke Slash FTW!

I'm joking lol.
What to say.
Well, 30 tankobans later, and I find the image of Guts covered in guts lots of fun.
Just a sketch, it was supposed to be, but without tone, she ends up looking like a certain Star Trek character... Then I got carried away.
What ruined my yaoilicious mood? Oh dear... *mourn*

Missing: 1 Vintage Mossman In The Woods Behind My House

It's been... terribly hot lately. Which is terribly wonderful... Alas, I'm ill and prone to sleeping when it's hot. And still unemployed. But we all get pushed foreward, don't we... Whether it'd be down a road or off a cliff.

My first time drawing Guts of Berserk.... In the chapter I read, he had a painful white streak through his hair, which reminded me of my brother... Which is surprising because, how old is he now? 26?

EDIT: GLARING OMISSION in that picture, now that I think about it-- for the continuity of CHRIST, by that point in time, his left eye would be missing. I'm going to go tear my hair out.

I Feel Fine After 3 Hours of Sleep

Why didn't I post this when I did it.....? Egh, I'm cheating.

My Dreamcast has been servicing me quite well lately... It's like getting to know that kid everyone always makes fun of, and discovering he's like, the best friend you could possibly have.

I woke up this morning feeling quite surreal......

11 DAYS WITHOUT A POST OMGWTF Near Daily my ass! GRGSHDRH

Yeeeeeah.... I've been thinking about dirty comics too much. And so, all I have is this scan from the back of my sketch book. W00, permanent marker yus~

80's Tunes + Policenauts = <3

Well, there's one of my missions proved possible... I've made someone wanna pick up a sketchbook. Win...

Gawd, I love Jonathan Ingram with an unhealthy zeal. Here, support the cause: http://www.policenauts.net/

I'm A Terrible Konami Fiend

It's getting increasingly hot... I think it's going to rain... For some reason, I can't draw hands today. Hmm. Too lazy to erase the lines on Cobra there... And I'm still not comfortable with drawing legs, especially standing. This, I must work on...>_<

Page O' Sketches....

top-middle- Cobra asking the world domination question- top-right- Ayane from Dead or Alive- middle- a man... grab that star, no matter how much it bothers you - middle left - fruit fucker.... Passed out on an orange... - bottom left - Jonathan Ingram of Policenauts with kitty ears. You'll see him again - bottom right - a disturbed looking (and unfinished) Motoko Kusanagi from Ghost in The Shell.

My Eye, Like, Hurts For Some Reason

I draw nearly every day... And I decided to make a drawing-journal. So there. This is also proof that I'm not completely booked up all day, every day, so feel free to harry me.